New Years Resolutions Resolved

Dear Barry,

  Happy Belated Christmas! As you know, this blog has gone throw many iterations but started right after I had signed up for my first ultramarathon, the Vermont 100. Spoiler alert: I only ran 88.6 miles of that race.

During these dozen years of writing more or less frequently on this blog, I seem to always have advice to share around New Years Eve. All of a sudden, I become another infallible "expert" sharing my advice on how better to live your lives.

I can't say my advice isn't without merit, as it usually is the most current research-based information available, and it's certainly better to get balanced diets and exercise regularly than not. However, it never pays to be a hypocrite.

What I mean by that, is that in all of these years of preaching mindfulness and what not, I haven't truly practiced mindfulness myself.

And in typical Danny fashion, I shift the blame to the plethora of religious zealots ready to decry everyone else's sins and blasphemies without taking a second to realize those sins they've committed.

That doesn't matter.

Can I not suffer the  slings and arrows of (trivially) outrageous without taking arms against these seas of troubles? 

The truth is I am very good at enabling myself and justifying my own actions but at the end of the day, I need to be looking more inwardly.

For those of out there who only know me through this blog or as an acquaintance, you haven't experienced the full Danny the Douche, or dick. 

Barry, the sweetest person I know, unfortunately, has witnessed me at my most honest self. The fact that I can(easily) count on my two hands the friends that I've maintained over the years is another testament to the fact that I'm hard to be around. It seems like I have alienated nearly every person in my life that I care about. Those that have remained, seem to be bound by blood or history but it's really unjustified why I have any friends or family that I keep in touch with. 

Which, coincidently, is also a testament of my family's love for me. My mother, especially, has created a justification system for my behaviors. "Oh you were just hungry, or tired"(or after 21, drunk). Instead of allowing for me to just be a dick, my family gives me outs on why I can act so poorly so frequently. No sorry, I'm just a dick and you're better off without me. Which I know isn't an easy thing to hear or bear as a parent or a loved one, but at some point, you've got to recognize lost causes. Yes, I may get someone a nice Christmas gift, but I then ruin Christmas because I drunkenly knock down the Christmas tree or steal the presents of Cindy Lou, is it worth it? nope. It is not. 

And here I am preaching the importance of mindfulness and embracing every day. That's great(and truly important), but also selfish, if you're doing it at the expense of others.

So this year, I challenge you all(but mostly myself), to look inward and see what needs to improve to be a better global citizen and just be a person others would like to be around. I hope that one day I can be the person, I expect of others. 

Until next time,

Your Friend,

Danny