Tuesday, September 1, 2015

What you are to do without me I cannot imagine ;)

It's easy to start feeling sorry for myself for all I will be missing, but instead I am thankful for all the times I have had with them and look forward to sharing time with them again when I return and show them all how much they are loved. I also have to remind myself that this is something that I've always wanted to do and that I will hopefully return a better person from all the experiences that I will have while away. I don't leave to go away but to come back better. 

It's starting to hit me how soon I will be leaving and how much I will be missing. 

And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness.

Kendra got together my family and friends and held a surprise party for me last weekend and it occurred to me how much I'll have missed in each of their lives  by the time I get back. By the time I return I will have missed Christmas for the first time EVER with my family, everyone's birthdays, my mother's retirement, pre-work breakfasts with my parents, time spent with my two beautiful nieces, untold numbers of parties, trivia nights, Parks and Rec episodes, hikes and races. 

It made me realize how blessed I am to have such a great group of people in my life and to have never missed any of those things before. To think that I've gone this far in my life and have been able to go to each and every Christmas with my family is pretty amazing. Just the amount of trips that I've gone on in this past year is crazy to think about and I have had so many wonderful times and have been lucky to share them with some pretty amazing people. Just to have almost all of my family still living nearby and visiting those that aren't fairly frequently is another blessing.

I suspect the heat and humidity in Guyana will also make me really appreciate those nice cool crispy autumn days in New Hampshire. I may never leave again:) 

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