Friday, April 3, 2015

The End of A Dynasty

The End of a Dynasty

Like pre-1984 AT&T, there are some things that are too big and powerful to stay together.  Like the American Telephone and Telegraph company, the dynamic duo of Amber and Danny has decided that staying together would be unfair to everyone else. Too big and powerful. Only out of kindness to you all, we have decided to split up.

I realize that breaking the news to many of you for the first time via blog is not the ideal mode but we have decided that we have been disingenuous long enough and wanted to make sure everyone knew we have finished our marriage. I have told many of you in person, but so many more have not heard but may have guessed. We hinted at it after Lake Placid, but are now letting everyone know.  It is amazing in how many intricate ways our lives have become interwoven and telling people became overwhelming. So while this is not the medium I'd have liked to have told all of you, it is the one we'll be using. Sorry about that. What neither of us wanted is to have to explain ourselves over and over to everybody individually and hope that you can support our decision without needing to delve into the details.

Note: Our marriage didn't fail-it ended. We crossed the finish line of that particular part of our lives and will be now each seeking out our own new adventures. I know I (and I'm pretty sure Amber) would not trade any of our adventures and time spent together for anything and it truly has been epic.

To paraphrase Tolstoy: all happy marriages are all alike while all unhappy ones are unhappy in their own way. Looking back Amber and I have had some amazing adventures and fun times but also have grown and developed as adults into very different people with very different life paths. If I am like most men, when Amber first met me my brain wasn't yet fully developed. I'd like to think that it still isn't but I know I have certainly changed and so has she. With Amber's love for endurance sports and ability to gut tough times out, we stuck with something a lot longer than we should have. But why? Just so we can avoid the inconvenient truth that we're human? That we made a decision to force a relationship where a friendship would have been the better option? Fear of criticism or judgment from others? In the end, none of that really matters and we have made the right call.

Is this the end of Irongirl and Ultrarunning Boy as we know it?
Yes and No. Yes in that we will no longer be erroneously referring to each other as husband and wife(which you may have noticed we have been choosing the more apt "partner in crime" lately anyway). No in the sense that I will be still following and supporting Amber at many of her races as you may have noticed in South Africa last week. And anytime I need to know how far my fitness has fallen, I will seek Amber out for a workout ;) We started this blog together before we were married, and will continue it afterward. I know it's sad for people to think that marriages end, but everything changes and why would relationships be the exception? Ours evolved into a beautiful friendship where I can honestly say she is my best friend. It was just our marriage that ended. Can you imagine a race with no end? That would be awful. And we will remain friends, collaborators and co-workers.


Danny passing off the baton to Amber
Moving Ahead
I am sure some people out there are crying out for us to MOVE ON! But my response is why? Why must our friendship end just because our marriage did? I know most people are like beginner acrobats who won't let go of something solid until there is another solid object in their hands, but this is not the case. We're not staying friends because we cannot move on, we're moving on as friends.

And I hope you all can join us. Through these years together, so many of Amber's friends have supported me and mine her. We both have developed richer and fuller lives because of all you that are in. We hope you can all stay on this path together with us and continue to see where the epic adventure of life will take us.

Up Next:
Who knows? But you can count on us to let you know when it does!

Oh and a South Africa Ironman blog should be next:)


  1. You expressed this so beautifully, Danny. Would that all couples who 'break up' could do so like this. My best to each of you.